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[06 Feb 2007|08:41pm]
I hate this time of year. I'm always in the worst moods.

I want someone I can trust, I want someone who I can tell absolutley everything to. I feel like I don't have a whole lot to offer, so I want someone who won't expect much out of me. I want to be okay with not seeing them every single day of my life. I just want someone to be happy with. I feel like all of that's so hard to find anymore.

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[30 Dec 2006|11:09pm]
Either way, I can't fucking win. I can't be happy. I finally settle down with someone, and after a week I find myself unhappy all over again. I guess it's not that easy to fall out of love, and to stop liking someone. My standards are too fucking high and I'm too picky. I was waiting around for a month, and finally, after giving up, he comes around. I can't fucking win. I can't have a boyfriend and like someone else. I can't have someone and be in love with someone else. I can't fucking win either way. I feel really selfish.

[11 Dec 2006|07:20pm]
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find me!
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[06 Dec 2006|09:41pm]
I've come to the conclusion that I can really only be brutally honest to the people I love. It's harder for me to be more honest to some than to others. I might sugarcoat things sometimes. I'm trying really hard not to.

Anthony Green hunt '06! only happening in doylestown!
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[04 Dec 2006|09:12pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

I'm so fucking sick and tired of everyone complaining about the same dumb shit. I hate people complaining about their boy/girl problems constantly WHEN THEY DO NOTHING TO CHANGE IT. I've learned that aside from anger, jealousy is the single most ugliest thing in this world. Because jealousy is the source of anger. I especially hate jealous relationships and anything to do with them. It brings out the worst in people, and nothing good comes out of it. I'm sick of people not doing anything about things they do infact have the power to change. Mabye I'm not the best example of that but I sure as hell do try and I sure as hell have made a good amount of progress. I just hate being stuck in the middle of something that isn't my business and being bitched at by my best friend's boyfriend for shit that has NOTHING to do with me. I feel shitty, I'm sick, I'm tired. I can't miss school this week because i have a fucking english project that's due on thursday and I really really really DO NOT want to fall behind in photo, because that is infact my favorite class and it's also the only one I give two shits about. Spanish test tomorrow? Probably going to fail but I honestly don't give a fuck anymore because it's not like I'm going to study fucking spanish for the rest of my life. Fuck school. Who needs it? LIke my guitar teacher said.


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[03 Dec 2006|04:14pm]


the rest of the weekend sucked. i'm sick and the hours is a fucked up book/movie.

ps. my teeth aren't that yellow/fucked up looking in real life.
5 comments|post comment

[24 Nov 2006|11:20pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Some people should NEVER get their faces pierced.

braces off in a week nigga.

6 comments|post comment

[07 Nov 2006|03:47pm]
I don't know why, but this song is amazing.

birthday weekend coming up...i hope it's a good one. for some reason, all my even numbered birthday's have been awful.

and i had the scariest dream last night.
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[02 Nov 2006|05:35pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

Last night was amazing. Almost every song I screamed out, he played. Whenever I screamed a song, he'd look at me, and mouth it to me, then smile and play it. It was absolutley amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better night. it definately was a highlight of my so far shitty week.

I'm getting lazier.

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smile and prepare for all the words he screams give him a reason - anything but silence or the truth [30 Oct 2006|06:18pm]
Mabye I'm not completely out of love, but I sure as hell don't feel what I felt a year ago. There's nothing that you or anyone can say or do to make me feel the way I used to. It's done. It's over. Nothing else needs to be done. Nothing can make me change my mind. I'm moving on.

Remember how he held you for all those lonely nights
you know you shared
and remember how you never cared about anything he said.
well now he's dead to you so bury him instead......

tear me apart for pouring out my heart.
you know it wouldn't phase you in the least.
i hate you now.
remember how i held you for all the lonely nights
you know we shared
and remember how you never cared about anything i said
and now i'm dead to you.
so bury me instead."

1 comment|post comment

[23 Oct 2006|05:19pm]
[ mood | my head STILL hurts. ]

as of lately...

my birthday is in three weeks? pernit. freedom six months shortly after if it's allowed...
i need to see a neurologist.

2 comments|post comment

[19 Oct 2006|04:30pm]
I wanna be a hotdog for halloween!

But between tomorrow, next saturday, and halloween, I have no time to get/find one. Dammit. I always think of good stuff when it's too late. Oh well, there's always next year.
3 comments|post comment

[16 Oct 2006|09:23pm]
Today I watched my best friend get torn to pieces by someone who claimed to love her. I learned one of the hardest lessons just watching her. It's amazing what power words can have over someone. It's amazing how you can dig a hole so deep and never get out of it...

What I'm trying to say is, I'll probably never get out of it.

[15 Oct 2006|07:06pm]
[ mood | blah ]


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[08 Oct 2006|04:19am]
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[05 Oct 2006|09:25pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

I fucking hate drugs, pot especially. It's such a fucking retarted excuse to have fun and it really messed up one of the best friendships I've ever had.

4 comments|post comment

[02 Oct 2006|07:58pm]
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[28 Sep 2006|06:02pm]
[ mood | tired ]

This week was alright. Nothing special. Still feeling sick and running low on sleep. I'm doing horrible in spanish and I'm dropping that class as soon as possible. I just want it to be November so I can get my permit and actually do something. I now get into shows for free and I'm psyched on that. Wood's homecoming is next weekend and I get to see everyone I haven't seen since last June. Pep rally today=most retarted gay thing I've ever seen but whatever. UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm. Nothing.

Celebrating my first jewish holiday with k8 on sunday and I'm excited.  I might dye my hair black again.

I need to stop being so lazy, seriously.

3 comments|post comment

[13 Sep 2006|09:29pm]
[ mood | blah ]

high school is so dumb. i really can't wait until i'm out.

" just because someone is feeling something doesn't mean you have to feel it. focus on making yourself happy rather then trying to make other people happy that make you miserable."

i hope it rains tomorrow. and i hope i start feeling better.

all I want is a little place of my own where I can rest my head...

4 comments|post comment

[01 Sep 2006|11:43pm]

why does summer have to end?


10 comments|post comment

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